haish. today got friendly w cedar. we got thrashed la. played thrice ; won once. i guess dats not bad alrdy? lol.. i had fun yellingg. i always do.. hee* 4 gurls cried, qian got hit in the eye. coach din put me in AS EXPECTED. sighs* on the bus was angry liao. then got down he asked us play w guys i got even more pissed. cux when we play gurls against gurls he dont let me play liao. play w guys i also dont get to play. like wth. ARGH. then i sorta talked back? the others thought i was joking. i am like so SERIOUS. im rly pissed. arghhh. dont know i angry for wht. haish.
wish i was the one crying. wish i was the one that got hit. wish i had the CHANCE. he'd never gif me the slightest hope that i might get a chance. i hated the way things are rite now. i just wana bombard him w questions bout why he dont let me in. i'm fighting so hard against my lazyness to improve. he just doesnt seem to see it.
fight for the chance? i TRIED. go ask HIM. fcuk it, im so screwed. argh.